A new normal

Well, it's the end of September and it's been a fairly quiet month. Hence the blog silence. This is a good thing because most of it has been spent trying not to vomit and getting lots of rest to overcome my fatigue. And I appear to be succeeding.

I still have a long way to go to reach a good level of fitness but as my birthday month approaches, it's good to know that a semblance of 'normal' (well, for me anyway!) is on the horizon.

The highlight of the month is my wig. I bought one as sometimes it's just easier. Easier to not have to talk about cancer. Easier to not have people stare. Easier to be 'normal'. Easier to forget my bald head. If only for an evening, afternoon, a day. Below is a photo of me wearing it on its first outing at a wedding Mat and I attended.

There's also a photo of us dressed as War Horse and Dorothy for Martha's party. My Black Swan costume didn't arrive on time so Dorothy made another appearance. The theme was 'Theatre' just in case you were wondering.

As I have mentioned, this is a new normal with lots of good things to look forward to.

Carry on regardless

Hello! I'm back!

I think it's been 4 weeks since I last blogged. My apologies to regular readers but I didn't really have the strength or the inclination to blog much from my hospital bed. There's only so much I can write about nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, cramps, pain, fatigue and all the other soul sapping effects of cancer treatment that everyone already knows about. I'm still living it. It's f-*king miserable and I thank the universe for whatever strength it is giving me to get up each day to get on with it.

The shining ray of light while I was in hospital were all my visitors. Thank you so much to all of you who came to see me in my hospital bed. You know who you are. Thank you for sharing your daily adventures with me, your humour and most of all your kindness and friendship. You brought a sense of normality into a room starved of it.

I used to watch the sun rise each morning and marvel at how beautiful it all was, dreaming of one day watching it not hooked to an IV drip. It's the simple things that matter and people telling me about their everyday normal nourished my soul.

I'm home now. I've been back a few days. I'm still struggling with all of the above along with the head mess but at least the thread count on the sheets are much nicer and the bed more comfortable.

To be perfectly honest, most of all I'm tired. Tired of fighting, tired of not being able to eat properly, tired of being strong and tired of this hideous disease. It's bloody hard work! However, don't worry, I'll be OK. I'm stubborn and I don't give up easily. Factory resets on anything take time to be up and running. I'll be 'me' again soon enough. If you are going to do something, go all the way right?

In the meantime enjoy these photos. I was getting fed up with my hair coming out in clumps so I got Mat to shave it all off. It still hasn't really grown. I'm probably balder now than last time. Ah well, hair today, gone tomorrow!

All photos by shewithacapitalV