Day Zero - Part 2

I tried to be strong and maybe it was all the drugs I had been given but I just cried throughout. So much hope and faith held in millions of tiny cells. I just want my life back. Is that too much to ask for?

12th August 2015 - my second factory reset, reboot, restart. Let the fun and games begin.

The night before Day Zero Stem Cell Transplant Part 2

'Twas the night before Day Zero...

Firstly, excuse the way I look. Chemo does that. Anyway, I got a complimentary foot massage earlier and one of the oils the lady used was frankincense. She asked what other oil I wanted to pair it with and obviously I had to say was gold or myrrh available?! Oh how we laughed. She's probably heard this dozens of times and was just being polite but still. I went for lemon oil just in case you were interested. 

This then got me thinking about the Special One and all the gifts he got from the Three Wise Men or Kings depending on which nativity play you have watched. I'm obviously talking about Jesus and not me or José.

Said in THAT tone of voice, I know some would say I was 'special'. Yes how very dare they  (har de har de har) but today I did feel special. So many of you were kind enough to send messages, texts and emails of love and support. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful. 

As you can see from my photo above, I also got gifts. It's not just Jesus! So;

Gift 1 - is from Mat from when I was first diagnosed and is a cuddly stem cell. Obviously. I love this guy so much. ;-) Go and work your magic folks!

Gift 2 - is from a nurse who remembered me from my last treatment and who said that she doesn't normally do this for her patients but because she thought  I was 'special' it was something to wish me luck for tomorrow. She was going to get me a dog but as soon as she saw this pink alien thing she thought it reminded her of me. Apparently, because it's different, bright and fun. Oh my goodness how blimmin nice is that?! Needless to say I got very choked.

Gift 3 - is from my Mum and is Oleg from the Compare the Meerkat adverts. I obviously get my randomness from her. No, me neither but it did make me laugh!

As I have said before and will never stop saying, thank you all once again for your love, support, understanding and kindness. You know who you are. 

Not just during this period but throughout the last few s#"%&y months during everything. A final and huge thank you to Fiona for the last two days. Have fun on your well deserved holiday! A star like you needs to dim occasionally so you can continue shining bright. Enjoy.

Once again, thank you all.

Going nuclear with Callippo

I've gone nuclear...with Callippo. To stop something called mucositis a new medical regime being encouraged is to suck on a Callippo ice lolly while the chemo is being administered. Apparently the cold in the mouth slows down the blood and so prevents the taste buds and other cells in there going scooby doo. That's as medical as you are going to get! I've had two so far and another one on the way.

Apart from a bit of a headache I feel OK at the moment. Hopefully I will be well enough to receive my new stem cells tomorrow so they can start working their magic. That's when the fun and games begin. Goodbye hair?!

In the meantime, enjoy the view from my window below.

My factory reset - 2nd stem cell transplant

So I'm now in hospital for my factory reset. Time for the nuclear chemo (Melphalan) to work it's magic. And destruction. That's the trouble with anything nuclear, everything gets destroyed in its path. Goodbye hair once again. But just as demonstrated by Hiroshima and Nagasaki commemorating 70 years last week since their atomic bomb destruction,  things do improve and rebuild. Better even. This is where my stem cells work THEIR magic. Come on you beauties! I keep telling and reminding myself this. I have to. Otherwise negativity will eat me up and like lots of things, people and events in life, cancer is not worth it. A big f#$k you cancer.

In between canoeing the canals of the Thames; kayaking in a Lidl kayak in the Cotswolds and not sinking (!!!); succesfully completing punishing six months of chemo; eating, drinking and laughing with friends and family, visiting amazing gardens, having fun in our amazing garden, seeing a wonderful ballet, discovering Deptford and most of all being given an opportunity to reflect and consolidate, the last few weeks have been good. I intend to be around for more of the same and then some. Just watch me.

Pembrokeshire - the one that got away & more stunning coast line

Now that I'm suddenly the expert on coarse fishing having done it the once (!!), I thought I would give it another go on our last full day here in Pembrokeshire. We tried to visit another fishery for abit of variety but as they were closed for the week, back to Yet-y-Gors we went.

Having caught the first fish (a small roach) I got excited for my day's fishing. Except that was it for hours! Mat sat there catching fish after fish while I failed to get a single bite. Until around early afternoon when I felt my rod bend and my strings tighten....I had hooked A CARP!!! People spend days and  thousands of pounds on equipment and not get a bite from one of these bad boys and there was me with my hired kit and Green Giant sweetcorn niblet bait fighting this beast!

I had Mat and two old boys excitedly telling me what to do, my arms were straining from the fight this monster was giving me and my head was still thinking WTF, this shouldn't be happening, this is only the second time I've done this! After what felt like hours but was really only a few minutes, I managed to get the beast to the margins for Mat to net in. Except he didn't and my carp got away. Arrrggghhh!!!! I'm still not entirely sure how it happened. Mat thinks he may have contributed to the string snapping when he tried to net or it was just one of those things but all I know is there is a 8 - 10lb carp out there smoking a cigar, drinking whiskey and laughing at me! Needless to say, the one that got away was the talk of the fishery for that afternoon.

It was all very disappointing and my haul of five fish compared to Mat's twenty-five equally so. But fishing just like life has good days and bad days.

A few pics below of Mat with some of his haul of fish and more stunning coastline from Thursday taking in Tenby by moonlight where we had a lovely dinner, the water lilies at Bosherston, Huntsman leap and the stunning coastline and 'secret' beaches by St Govans Head.

A beautiful part of the world definitely worth visiting. Thank you Pembrokeshire.

Pembrokeshire - coarse fishing at Yet-y-Gors

So, on Wednesday I went fishing for the first time - and I loved it!  Who would have thought?! It's always been a wish of mine to do it but for whatever reason just never got round to having a go. Until now. I had been going on about it for ages and possibly having worn him down, Mat decided to take me. He hadn't been for 20+ years himself so I think secretly he was quite looking forward to it too.

We ended up at a wonderful place called Yet-y-Gors where the owners Darren and Hannah and their team could not have been more welcoming. With fishing licences in hand, maggots (!!) hired rods and nets and a sense of what the hell is this all about, I cast for the day in the beautiful lakes...

And ended up catching a small perch (my very first fish caught!) tench, rudd, roach and quite a large bream! As you can see from the photo below my bream was definitely bigger although in terms of numbers caught Mat beat me by catching 18 fish to my 13. Who knew he could be so fishing competitive?!

Anyway, I need to hone my technique but I have to say, for a first timer I thought I did pretty well. I apologise now in advance with tales of here's one I caught earlier...

Pembrokeshire - Skomer island & puffin paparazzi

Skomer island just off the Pembrokeshire coast is a beautiful island that prides itself on its stunning scenery, amazing birdlife and being a nature reserve, important research on what's on, in and under its sea. There are lots of seriously knowlegeable folk living on there doing good.

However, the big draw at this time of year are the puffins. That was the only reason we were there. All my life I have wanted to see one close up and I was beyond excited to see them. They are only in Skomer till around August when they fly out to sea having done their nesting bit.

What amazing birds they are. I have to confess to shedding tears when I saw them. I say tears plural because there were literally thousands of them and it was overwhelming to have a dream come true. They are ridiculously photogenic, have bags of character and gave zero f&*ks about the likes of us literally staring in awe at their antics.
The number of long and very expensive camera lenses pointing at them was a  sight to behold too. It felt like a royal photocall or a celebrity film premiere given the paparazzi style kit on show. I couldn't think of a better subject to photograph but my goodness!

I know Mat took some good shots and I may have taken a couple of decent ones with my other camera but enjoy the phone ones below until these are uploaded.

In other news, I completed another 5 miles today walking around Skomer island. I may have fallen over in the process after tripping over a hole but I'm pleased with my progress anyway.
Just think what I would be capable of once all this cancer sh%t is over?!? Puffins are the new inspiration.