♥ Happy Valentine's Day ♥

You make my heart sing

Mat, 


Happy Valentine's Day!

"The course of true love never did run smooth"

"So long as I can breathe or I can see

so long lives your love which gives life to me"

William Shakespeare

Music notes garland image from www.instructables.com
Photo belongs to shewithacapitalV

Fully mature yet unripened

Those of you that know me well will know that I don't act my age. I never have. I have either acted older when I was younger or acted younger now that I'm older. Whatever being older or younger is.

Through experience, getting older supposedly makes you wiser. I also find that you can add cynicism and bitterness with this 'maturity'. Not necessarily in a bad way, more of a tired been there, seen it, done that type of exasperation.  Especially when bright young things are being annoyingly smug about something or other and not listening to anything you say. I'm sure I was exactly the same then though!

However, there is always time for being unashamedly, rip-roaringly, head-spinningly childish. Defined as 'of like, or appropriate to a child' or 'silly and immature', why should kids have all the fun? Given that they already have the energy & the fresh collagen, it would be rude not to have a piece of the action and so when I can, I do!

And so, the weekend just gone saw Mat and I back in Essex to help Aiden and Liddy celebrate their 10th birthdays. As their godmother and having held them in my arms back in the day, I was proud to be there to see in this milestone age.

Their 'party' was at a pretty cool venue - Basildon Sporting Village. Yes, I know what you are thinking - QUE?!? Basildon? Sporting? Village? But oh yes, after an injection of millions of pounds this is where some of London Olympics 2012 participants can train to their hearts content in preparation for the Games proper. A good way of bringing the Olympics out to the people and for the area to benefit from the amazing facilities.  

And the best bit...you can hire the Gym for a birthday party for a couple of hours. ALL OF IT!  Awesome!

All of the equipment such as the balance beam, pommel horse, rings, vault, trampoline, foam pool and sprung floor were all ours to look ridiculous on! Hilarious! I especially loved the sprung floor as I was able to run around on it without having any undue stress on my joints, specifically my back. Absolutely bloody brilliant! If only the whole world had a sprung floor  - just think how much better I would be?!

Anyway, below are some photos from the day. As you can see, you're never too old to be young.  

Oh and as an aside, Tower Bridge finally got built by Amy over Christmas. Suitable for anyone aged 8 years old and over, it only took two and a half adults, just over a year, two degrees and a Phd, much swearing, a couple of re-builds and up till 1am by Amy for her to finally build it. 

I was amazed and very pleased that it finally got finished! It was part of my 'recuperation set' from the cancer treatment just over a year ago but I didn't have the patience then! I still can't believe it's classed as suitable for those aged 8+.  Look at how complicated it is?!

Maybe I'm just getting old ;-)

All photos belong to shewithacapitalV

Stuck

Furry, soft round the edges & prone to snuffling noises...

sounds a bit like me?! Watch this, it will make you smile ALL DAY!!

I have what can only be described as 'blogger's block'. It's all there but stuck. I am unable to find the sentences and when I do, we are looking at only 140 characters being used up, if that.  *waves at Twitter*


I'm letting it ride in the hope that like all good blockages, it will come undone and the tidal wave of creativity will flow out. I'm hoping this feeling won't last too long and that I will come unstuck from the treacle. Otherwise medical intervention may be needed.


Anyway, since my 'Blueberries' post, I have had great news from my test results! Just over a year since my stem cell transplant, I'm still cancer free which is pretty good. Not so good is the fact that my bones are still achey which apparently could be a sign of an 'autoimmune condition'.  Yes, I know I sound like a 'House' episode and should be argued between Dr House and Dr Foreman but this is yet another turn in the road of my medical odyssey. The joint paint needs some form of explanation.


Now that it's February, I can approach this new year with renewed vigour and zest. I hate January anyway, it should be erased and February be the new year.


Anyway, I'm off to be like a dormouse. Will try not to snore too much. But hope to gain inspiration.  

Blueberries

"To be asked to describe what your sister is like is a bit like describing what a blueberry is like to someone who's never tasted it before".

There was a line similar to the above in a monologue play called 'Sometimes I Laugh Like My Sister' which we saw at the Finborough Theatre on Sunday night. I'm doing the line a disservice as it was a lot better than the butchering I have just presented above but I really related to it and the whole piece.


It was performed by Rebecca Peyton about her journalist sister Kate who was murdered in Somalia. Obviously not the cheeriest of subjects but worth seeing all the same for her bleakly funny yet hugely brave and moving tribute.


Going back to the blueberry line, how do you describe what a blueberry is like to someone who has never tasted it before? Do you start with the colour? The taste? The shape? The smell? 


I only ask this because I often wonder how someone would describe me to someone who had never met me before. We all die and it's only natural that once we are gone, people ask what someone was like out of curiosity. They ask when you are alive so it's a given they will ask when you are dead!


Everyone's thought about their eulogy right?! Okay, just me then. We are all a little vain and want to be thought of in the best way but I'm always curious about who decides on content. I'm thinking a full on Scorsese number with dramatic production, great dialogue and maybe a plot twist? Again, just me then?


I'm in a lot of pain right now and probably why I am having these thoughts. I spent all of yesterday in two hospitals to first have a bone marrow biopsy and then a full skeletal MRI scan. Just in case you weren't paying any attention, it's been just over a year since my stem cell transplant and so I need to be re-staged. 


This makes me sound a bit like a production of Les Mis but it is where the doctors want to see if it's yay, she's still in complete remission or hmmm, get the cavalry in again, we have A SITUATION. Like all good dramas, there is a wait for the results although I have already been given a CD of imagery from the MRI scan. Don't really know what I am looking at, so I am leaving it to the expert(s) to go through it with me next Friday. Oh the wait...


I said on my Twitter feed yesterday that the bone marrow aspiration was 'the best so far'. Today not so. I had the hospital's very own version of Louis Spence administering it and yes it hurt, but at the time, it didn't hurt like before. It turns out that I probably had double the anaesthesia given compared to last time and the flamboyance distracted me. He literally numbed the pain.


Consequently, I was away with the fairies a little in the afternoon because even though there was a bit of a performance regarding my MRI scan (mislaid forms, requests not received, an interminable wait), I took it all without a fuss. Believe it or not, I'm usually a bit gobby about such matters but I just wanted to get it over and done with so just sat there patiently.


Now that the anaesthetic has worn off, I am feeling sorry for myself. I think the dear old doctor was mining for gold in my hip as it really hurts now and I am hobbling about like Dr House. I've even got a cane just like him! Sadly mine doesn't have flames on it or a skull's head but it helps me move about. 


I wondered earlier today if I still have the fight for this. When you can't even walk up the stairs properly and having to use a cane at my age, it can be mightily depressing. I am allowed to wallow in it every now and again just because it is SO hard to carry on as normal when I'm not really normal am I?


Blogging has now resumed for 2012 - you didn't really expect me to shut up for long did you?! A belated happy new year and an early happy easter.


As you were.  I'm off to eat some blueberries.

picture courtesy of sk-lifefitness

Season's Greetings!

I have arisen from the food coma of the last two and a half days and although my muscles are still a little atrophied from the lack of movement, I think I'm OK...  


I am of course joking. I'm all good. I think?!  I know last Christmas I was in no fit state to eat, drink and be merry but let's just say I think I have made up for it this year! Oh my life, I feel M-A-S-S-I-V-E.  I know it's fashionable to go on a detox in the new year but I really feel I could do with one.  A Christmas bleach of my insides. This sounds a bit like the chemo treatment I had last year but obviously a bit nicer. I do have a couple of new books on this very subject but I am still not entirely convinced I believe some of the stuff in them so watch this space.


Earlier today saw me do a 2-mile Boxing Day walk with Mat and Amy. It was nowhere of note other than the village we live in but it was great as it was a lovely walk and gave us a chance to discover more nooks and crannies.  We really are lucky to live in such a pretty area.  


It also cleared the cobwebs from the Christmas Day food-athon of yesterday! We went for a SE Asian fusion feast with a rather large chicken roasted in a Thai marinade, traditional Christmas veg incorporated into a nasi goreng and beef cooked weeping tiger style. The Christmas cake(s) and copious amounts of cheese were more 'traditional' and the all day feast that ensued epic.  Coupled with the copious amounts of telly watching, all I can say is thank goodness for elasticated waistbands! 


Given the crazy of the last fortnight, it's nice to be able to kick back and essentially relax and do nothing.  I always find the build up to Christmas so much busier and stressful than the event itself and not only did I take part in the usual round of Christmas socializing to the point of thinking red wine should be banned (no way), there was also the matter of; 


- taking part again in You Me Bum Bum Train and loving it as much as last year's experience.  So much so that we are going again for the summer 2012 run. It is one of life's frustrations that people who take part in this cannot really talk about it openly as it will 'ruin' it for those that haven't been. The 'not knowing' is definitely one of the attractions of this 'experience!'  Ask me when you see me what it is all about...


- eating Korean food for the first time.


- receiving a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Lucy and Scott for my 'one year stem cell anniversary'. I was rendered speechless by the gesture and truly touched by their kindness especially given the recent distractions they have had. Thank you once again both, I am truly grateful.


- taking part in a surprise birthday party for Matt P and seeing him genuinely surprised by it thanks to Melody's superb organisation.


- receiving my final dose of 'bone strengthener' for 2011 and spending time with the fantastic healthcare team at UCH.


- seeing an amazing play called 'Crush' at the Finborough Theatre where not only was I hugely affected by the dialogue and acting on show but impressed by what a great venue it is for new theatrical pieces.


Anyway, 'Gladiator' is currently on TV and I'm getting distracted by it. Film watching over the last couple of days has been off the scale with 'Super 8', 'Troll Hunter' and 'Contagion' in the mix. Sadly not one of them has gripped me enough to not actually fall asleep (!!) although 'Troll Hunter' was quite good for being a little different. 'Contagion' just made me feel itchy!


The "Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife" speech is coming up and Maximus Decimus Meridius needs my full attention so I'm off. I love this film!

Christmas tree window view

Presents!

Christmas candles

My Christmas elf

Good King Wenceslas - by whistle! 'Notes' above. What a racket!

Swiss roll bowl cake - on fire!

Leftovers

The sparkliest & glitterest Christmas cake for miles made by Amy

Cheese dreams on a platter

Beautiful flowers from Lucy & Scott - thank you both!

photos from shewithacapitalV

Feeling festive!

Our Christmas tree this year
The pine smells wonderful!

Still not feeling a 100%.  My throat is still really sore and I can't seem to shake off this cough.  Mat is the same but his stronger constitution seems to be fighting off the bugs a lot faster as he is already talking about climbing again some time over the next few days!

We had a TSC Christmas meal at The Swan at the Globe on Friday night where a good time was had by all.  It was a great venue with a fantastic atmosphere and terrific food.  And Shakespeare read out over the tannoys in the toilets!  A little disconcerting but somewhat reassuring as you do your business as it did feel like Simon Callow was in the corner reciting Hamlet :o)

Anyway, I have been feeling festive and as you can see from the pictures below, the festive countdown chez Capital V has started. I still can't believe that this time last year I was in hospital and now I have decorated our tree.  I feel very lucky that I am able to do so.  However, as you can see the randomness remains. When Christmas decorating, it is not always about the baubles...!

Another view of our tree

Decor in close up

Yes, that's a caterpillar. And a ladybird. And a pink elephant.
It's not always about the bauble!

I have also been making my own Christmas cards - smug or what?! Crafting after all is the new rock and roll :o)

I'm off to get some shut eye. It's going to be a busy week!

All photos by shewithacapitalV

Happy birthday to me, myself and I

The stem cell - pluripotent. Special.

According to Wikipedia, December 8 is the 342nd day of the year, the day that John Lennon was shot dead and Archduke Maximilian Franz of Austria was born. It's also my 'other' birthday or rather Day Zero.


I can't quite believe that this time last year I was having a full on chemical romance to fully get rid of this cancer and so get better. One year on, I'm still in complete remission and still standing. Go me! 


To add to the whole medical drama that is my life, I have been unwell most of this week. Nothing more dramatic than a nasty cold/flu virus I have picked up but ill all the same. I'm feeling better now although I did feel like I was going to die a couple of days ago! This time last year when I could have actually died, I felt OK. Strange how that happens.


Anyway, last year I do remember telling myself that I would mark this day in some way each year even if it is just by eating cake. Or having a glass of wine. I have to toast each one of the 3.6 million stem cells pumped back into me somehow! Each and every one of them. Even the ones in the freezer. I hasten to add that these aren't next to our frozen peas or garlic bread but the ones held in storage at the hospital for when I need them. As of today, there isn't actually a cure for myeloma yet, just lots of treatment options.  No one can actually tell me how many years I have till my expiry date. Two years? Four years? Ten years? Twenty? Erm, we're not quite sure. I'm hoping it may never come back but no one can tell me that.


It's not ideal, in fact it is rather crap but what can you do? I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. It's just a question of getting on with my life. As written about on here over the past year and where I hope to keep mentioning the shenanigans that I get up to for many years to come.


Last weekend it was all about De La Soul at Indigo at the O2 where I nearly put my joints out dancing to old school hip hop and where Mat left his Surrey roots behind and got all 'street.'  All we needed were the tracksuits and bling and we would have been there I tell you.  There. It was possibly one of the best gigs I have been to in a while and brought back memories of my youth, when life was less complicated and not as scary. 


Anyway, apparently if a stem cell had a face it would look like the one above. Thank you Mat :-) I couldn't think of a better looking one for it. I'm off to get my groove on.  Happy birthday to me, myself and I.