Speaking of weddings...

Crying tears of joy....apparently.

Recent press reports say that Princess Charlene tried to escape Monaco prior to her wedding but she was thwarted by mysterious henchmen loyal to her Prince Albert. 

Rumours are that after two illegitimate children, Prince Albert has a third possibly a fourth in the pipeline and that Princess Charlene's 'contract of marriage' is to produce a legitimate heir and a spare.  Apparently, they spent their honeymoon apart in South Africa and they had to cut their honeymoon short because of these paternity claims.

Apparently, these are tears of joy....!?!   

And the press release 'from Charlene' surrounding these vicious rumours is;  

“It is a shame that those rumours came at such a bad time, but I think they were timed to sabotage such a happy occasion. They are categorical lies. I won't dignify them with any response other than to say that the photographs of me and Albert in love and getting married will speak louder than any vicious gossip and empty rumours.”

Somebody send the A-Team to rescue her. Or Shrek. Or Rambo. Or Jason Bourne. Navy SEALs. The Milk Tray Man. Anyone! That's full on sobbing if you ask me, not tears of joy. Compare her demeanour to Princess Catherine marrying Prince William. To any bride marrying her groom that you may have witnessed lately. There is no comparison.

Somebody please rescue the Princess quick!  I can't bear the thought of her locked in her ivory Monaco tower like some latter day Rapunzel waiting to be rescued.  She just looks so very sad it's heartbreaking.